I am pressing on into something better I hope

Life is short and I'll be unable to witness any fruits

But maybe for a brief moment there will be no labor

And I can breathe in deeply a calming stillness

There is a cold embrace
That I must face
A desire to live and be well
That I must now quell

I simply can not escape this forest
For this dolt is just a tourist
A disruptive visitor
Looking for something simpler

Good riddance to dreams
They only ever tore at my seams
Pulling me away my stability
And reminding me of all the fear still in me

I visited my friend recently

I could feel myself personifying it

Thinking life into every branch and leaf

It told me I looked well watered

I could not tell it that I had been crying

But I think it knew

I sat in it’s shade

Pressed the bark against my skull

Let it tell me about all it had seen

There is rebar sticking through the tree

I dare not ask

But I wonder if it had been stabbed

Or if it grew around it

Undeterred by obstacles

My sweet heart

My heart has gone. I wonder where you have been. Wandering son find your way home. You have been stretching yourself too far for too long. My sweet heart, it’s okay that you did not find what you were looking for. I’ve made a place for you to rest in my chest. We can try again tomorrow.

Every Season

I could probably describe love with any number of cliches but I’ve chosen this one. Love is in many ways just like the relationship I have with the weather. It’s hot, it’s cold, it could be better and it could never be more perfect. A constant hypocrisy.

I could never love anything like I love you. Maybe someday  when our children are born I’ll love something more than you. I’ll hold them close to my chest and feel the slight rhythm of their heart and know I’d die a million deaths to see them succeed. But I’ll never love someone ‘like’ I love you. Nothing will ever pull at me in so many directions like you have. Nothing will be imperfect in the most perfect ways like you.

So I’ll love you every season from now until I’m all out of seasons.